Little Lewis Loves

365 days of Mama

IMG-20190325-WA0104 As the sun sets on what has undoubtedly been the best summer of my life, I’m feeling so very full.

To say that Harry came along and turned both mine and Adam’s lives upside down is an understatement, and yet it was absolutely in all the best ways, without exception. This year has been absolutely full of firsts. Our first cuddle, first feed, first nappy, first cold, first holiday, first bump and bruise, first word, first tantrum, first steps. It’s also been full of laughter, full of love and yes, occasionally some of the toughest moments of our lives too. But spending my days gazing at the baby I so desperately longed for and dreamt of was the greatest remedy to any hard time.

IMG-20180930-WA0020 Without question, being Harry’s mama is one hundred percent what I was put on this earth for. Before he came along, our lives were already full, but now with him along for the journey they are overflowing. These past 365 days have been the absolute best days of my life. Truly, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

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Harry is, in one word, wonderful. That is to say, he is absolutely full of wonder. And I am beyond privileged to see the world anew, reframed through his big blue eyes. He’s given me a healthy dose of perspective, and more than ever I know what matters to me, where my lines in the sand are drawn, and what quite frankly, I couldn’t care less about. I’m more focused on channeling my energy into people and experiences that bring myself and our family joy. I’m less bothered about what I can’t control, and I’m learning to say no and mean it – without apologising. It’s been pretty liberating. As a family, we’ve made memories I know will stay with us for the rest of our lives. I can’t wait to add to them as Harry grows, but as with all good things, change is inevitable.

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Tomorrow I’ll return to work, in a role that I enjoy, on a part-time basis. As a family we don’t need me to go back to work, but I do want to and I’m very aware that I’m fortunate to have that choice. In recent years I’ve worked hard to progress in a career that I’m proud of, and I want Harry to grow up in a family where he sees both his parents working and contributing equally to all aspects of our life together.

My return to work also affords Adam a choice too. To that end, Adam will be reducing his hours at work too so that he can share more time with Harry, something I couldn’t be more excited about for him. They have the most beautiful relationship, and I’m sure Harry will love ‘Boys’ Club’ as it’s affectionately come to be known in our home. They even have a theme tune…

We will essentially both be working a three day week (albeit three very long days) and between us, his grandparents and nursery I think Harry will have a great balance of time with Mama and Dada, as well as some room to grow and develop independently. I know it will be good for him, and for us.

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But goodness me, my year of maternity leave has just flown by in a haze of dribbly kisses, sweaty, limpet-like cuddles, heart-melting smiles and contagious gummy giggles. It felt like forever before he arrived, and I even kept putting off going on leave as I felt fine and wanted to keep working. But now it feels like I’ve blinked and it’s almost over. I will miss my little sidekick more than anything – no amount of time with him would be enough. I question whether this is the right decision for us on a daily basis as I have just adored spending every day with my sunshine boy. The feeling of leaving him is completely gut-wrenching, but my hope is that it will ultimately help him thrive and broaden his horizons, not to mention continue to develop his already *fairly* good social skills – face slapping, hair pulling and glasses stealing especially, though he branched out to feeling up waitresses on holiday last week – eeek. Joking aside, I have had to come to terms with the fact that I’ll likely miss some of his firsts, that I won’t be there to kiss him better when he bumps his head or comfort him every time he is sad and I’m still totally not okay with that, but I also know with unwavering certainty that he will forgive me, he will be ok and that he won’t forget me for two days a week (I’m totally going to be popping down for cuddles on my homeworking day).

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I know there’ll be a few deep breaths needed on that first day back, and more than a few tissues to dry my tears. I’ve already shed enough to cause flash flooding across the south west. But they’re also tears of gratitude. I’m so grateful to be Harry’s mama and I know that this is just the start of a brand new chapter in our adventures together. I’m just not quite ready to turn the page yet.

September 23, 2020 0 comment

Little Lewis Loves

Reviewed: Kiddy Evoluna I-Size 2 Car Seat

First: A Cautionary Tale About Car Seat Fitting

So before I review the Kiddy Evoluna i-Size 2, let me first start with a warning about getting car seats fitted correctly. Being rather organised, Sarah and I bought Harry’s car seat several months before his due date from a well known High Street store. They offer advice but crucially do not have the ability to check the fit of the car seat in your own car. After some uhmming and ahhing, we originally picked the Cybex Aton Q i-Size; winner of many awards, a Which? Best Buy and all round recommended car seat. The sales assistant made a big fuss about putting both our car registrations into their system. He then proudly declared that it would be entirely suitable, even showing us which seats it would and wouldn’t go in.

Happy days then? Well actually not in the slightest. When Harry was born, we diligently followed the manual to the letter in both cars, and yet after several trips were horrified that his head kept falling onto his chest; this is a massive no no as it can impact your baby’s breathing, potentially with fatal consequences. We popped the seat over to a different, well known, baby shop and asked them to check the fit; our worst fears were confirmed as they advised that they would have never sold it to us having seen its position in our cars. We should instead have chosen a lie-flat model like the Kiddy Evoluna i-Size 2 we eventually ended up with.

So what happened next?

Cutting a long story short, the original retailer gave us a full refund after I went all Judge Rinder in an email to their Chief Exec. It turns out the system, which I believe most retailers use, only tells you which car seats physically fit in the space your car has i.e. it does not mean your car seat has ever been tested in your car and is 100% not a guarantee that it is suitable. Please make sure you get your seat physically checked by whoever sells it to you rather than listening to some sales patter and insincere reassurances; it could save your baby’s life.

I would also point out though that whilst the shop claims our car seats are “very steep”, we are not rolling around the Cotswolds in a Ferrari or blinged up G-Wagon. I drive a humble Ford Mondeo Estate and Sarah has a Hyundai i30; normal, run of the mill cars no? I therefore suspect a lot of people might unknowingly have this issue. It’s certainly worth checking either way!

I feel I should add here that this is not an attempt to discredit the Cybex Aton-Q in any way. It certainly seemed robust whilst we had it and I am confident that in the right car it would do a solid job, certainly this is why we chose it in the first place. That said, it’s difficult not to compare it to the Kiddy car seat so if there is anything obvious, I’ll point it out below.

Kiddy Evoluna I-size 2 Ergonomics

Size and Weight

The most obvious (and in fact one of the only) downsides to the Kiddy Evoluna i-Size 2 is its length. To put the seat into the lie flat position, you pull the handle towards the front of the car which gives it a length of 73.5cm front to back. If you have a particularly small car and regularly have a passenger in the front, they can probably expect a lot of leg cramps and discomfort. Personally, we’ve not found it an issue in the Mondeo and i30 but the Cybex certainly offered more legroom for the front passenger.

Kiddy, Evoluna, I-size, Car Seat, Lay Flat, Full view

Picking it up, it weighs in at a hefty 4.9kg. I’m pretty sure the Cybex was the same weight although there are definitely lighter seats out there. I’ve mentioned the weight as people seem to like to know these things; however I’m not sure I would worry too much. I wouldn’t advocate lugging them around for extended periods like an oversized handbag but, for a quick in and out of your car, most seats seem to be an acceptable weight. Sarah has two slipped discs and my dominant hand has a dodgy wrist but we can both lift the Kiddy Evoluna and the Cybex Aton Q in and out of the car fairly easily. I suppose if it matters to you then it matters, but I wouldn’t personally compromise on other safety or ergonomic aspects just to shave a few grams.

Ease of Use

This is one area where, in my opinion, the Kiddy massively outperforms the Cybex. Both are very easy to install and even easier to put on and off their bases. However, I found the Cybex quite difficult to lift off the pushchair if I was using the adaptors as there are two stiff buttons that are hard to reach whilst leaning over the pushchair and lifting the chair upwards. The Kiddy uses a similar system but seems to come off much easier.

Buckling Harry in its also much easier with the Kiddy. They both use a 3-point harness but for some reason, the Cybex required a crazy amount of force to pull the harness snug against Harry. The Kiddy has a loop to pull on which even my Nan could do. There’s then a little slot in the seat fabric which allows you to slacken the belt. The buckle clicks together reassuringly and has lots of padding. In fact, the whole seat feels super comfortable and there is even a kind of built in foam sausage that gently cradles Harry’s head and neck. It also has removable newborn inserts and you can buy a premature baby insert if required.

There are five height settings to progress through as your baby grows. Again this is a simple process. You flap down the back of the seat, turn a grey handle 90 degrees and then pull it up or down. The seat and harness are all integrated together so it all adjusts at the same time from that one movement.

Features

Sunshade

The Kiddy Evoluna i-Size 2 has an exceptionally large sunshade to keep your little one calm and protected. The shade feels a little flimsy compared to the smaller shade on the Cybex. It shouldn’t see much wear and tear though so I don’t see it as a big issue. It allows us to cocoon Harry and he falls asleep pretty quickly with the shade down.

Kiddy, Evoluna, I-size, Car Seat, Lay Flat, Sun Protection

Pushchair Adaptors

Handily, the seat also fits happily on a large variety of pushchair frames. Essentially anything that will accept a Maxi-Cosi car seat can take the Kiddy provided you buy the adaptors. Whilst I wouldn’t recommend buying a car seat second hand for safety reasons, the adaptors are straightforward yet typically pricey for a bit of plastic. It’s therefore worth checking on eBay as we got ours at a fraction of the price; when they arrive, it would be blindingly obvious if they were damaged or not suitable.

*Top Tip* the adaptors are labelled ‘L’ and ‘R’ in the inside. Don’t stick them on your pushchair the wrong way round! From experience, removing them becomes a surgical procedure involving pointy implements and headtorches. Not something you’re going to want to try in the Waitrose car park!

The Kiddy is far simpler to remove from the pushchair than the Cybex as they’ve made the buttons large and put them where normal folk can reach. As it lies flat, it’s much safer to leave your child in. We’ve found Harry will happily stay asleep whilst being transferred; if you have a light sleeper though, you’ll need to be careful as the handle has to move to vertical (moving the seat out of lie-flat) to lift it out.

Safety Features

Lie-Flat Position

The Kiddy Evoluna i-Size 2 offers a proper lie-flat position both inside and outside the car. Harry’s body, neck and head are all aligned and his head shows absolutely no signs of rolling forwards and restricting his breathing. It’s also better for their spinal development so this is definitely a plus point if you regularly do long journeys; they can stay in comfort for far longer than a standard seat. The Lullaby Trust actually endorse it as being suitable for extended periods of sleeping out and about, although it still shouldn’t replace a moses basket or cot for longer sleeps.

Crash Test Results

The Kiddy Evoluna i-Size 2 delivers pretty impressive results in independent tests. Which! recommend it as a best buy after it achieved the highest ever score for a Group 0+ seat. The stringent German Stiftung Warentest and ADAC declared it their test winner (06/18) in the i-size up to 105cm category. It was also the only seat offering an in-car lie-flat position on test so if you want to go flat, it’s an obvious winner.

Vented Back

The seat uses a slatted mesh frame to support your baby and mould better to their body shape. This helps achieve the lie-flat position. This has the added bonus of allowing air to freely circulate which should allow your baby to regulate their temperature far better than a solid back.

Side Impact Protection

Both the Cybex and Kiddy Evoluna score highly in their respective crash tests so I’m sure that both seats do the job in terms of side impact protection. Where they differ is that the Kiddy has a small foam bumper permanently attached; the Cybex has an arm that you have to fold in and out each time you use it. I’m not qualified to say which works better. Practically though, when you have a screaming baby to strap in and it’s raining heavily, I’d prefer not to have to remember the extra step to activate the protection.

I-Size Base

Unlike a lot of seats, the Kiddy Evoluna comes with the i-Size base as standard. Assuming your car has isofix, which most modern cars do, it is very simple to install. I’ve seen reviews on YouTube where people claim it fits badly in their car but I’m fairly sure they installed incorrectly. Kiddy have a video to show you how; it’s easy once you know how it works. There are plenty of buttons that change to green from red once it is correctly installed and when you try to lift it up from the floor of the car, it barely moves which is exactly what you want. Once it is set up, it takes just a few seconds to secure the seat onto the base. If you get really stuck, comment below and I’m happy to video whichever bit you are unsure on.

Price

It has to be said that this isn’t the cheapest car seat in the world. The RRP is rather high but if you shop around, you can pick it up for around £260 which includes the base. The isofix base for a lot of seats is over £100 which makes this car seat package rather more attractive. It should fit your child until around 15 months so it’s under £20 (or the equivalent of a few coffees!) a month to keep your child safe.

Accident Replacement Scheme

This may be a feature of other car seats too but if you have an accident, Kiddy will replace your seat for free. You just need to send them the insurance or police report. They’ll even replace seats that appear to be absolutely fine, just to make sure your child stays safe. It also carries a two year warranty, extendable to three years for free on their website. This should easily cover your child’s time in it.

Final Thoughts on the Kiddy Evoluna i-Size 2

If you take away anything from this review, it should definitely be that you need to try a car seat in your car before you buy it.

If you take a second thing away, it should be that this is a great car seat; particularly if you suffer from ‘steep seats’ or would just like your child to be a bit comfier. We love it and even more importantly, Harry loves it. Now we’ve got some time to look at options for the next size up; I’d love to hear your recommendations in the comments below.

December 31, 2018 1 comment

Little Lewis Loves

5 Reasons Why Dads Should Consider Shared Parental Leave

If you’ve seen my Instagram feed recently, you might have realised that since the birth of our son, Harry, I’ve not been at work. Why you ask? Well, I wasn’t just being lazy. I’ve actually spent an amazing eight weeks bonding with Harry and Sarah, taking advantage of the relatively new Shared Parental Leave scheme.

Don’t worry if you haven’t heard about it. Most people I’ve spoken to haven’t! It became law in 2015 and means that, subject to certain criteria around length of employment and returning to the same employer, fathers are now entitled to share what was previously just maternity leave. Mums have to take a minimum of 2 weeks maternity leave and dads will still receive their 2 weeks paternity leave. After that the remaining 50 weeks statutory “maternity leave” and 37 weeks pay can be shared between you.

I’ll let you read the official Shared Parental Leave guidance if you want more information but having done it myself, I thought I’d share

5 Reasons Why Shared Parental Leave is Such a Good Idea

1. They’re only young once

It might seem obvious but unless you are with your child all the time, you miss out on so much of their early development and first moments. I’ve seen Harry’s face, first confused then gurgling with laughter, as he learnt to roll from his tummy to his back. I’ve helped him begin to vocalise his emotions and desires, and conversed with him as he “talks” more and more. I mean, I’ve even seen the full spectrum of nappies as his body has developed. Arguably not much of an advantage but equally a burden that mum shouldn’t have to bear alone.

2. You can build an incredible bond

If you ask Sarah to describe my typical emotional state, you’ll most likely hear her sadly utter words like “cold” and “robot”. You see, we are very much diametrically opposed when it comes to feelings. Sarah is led by her heart and her emotions whereas I am rational to the core.

Spending so much time with Harry so early on has rather thawed me though. We’ve got our own little thing going on. He recognises my face and exceptionally terrible singing, often breaking into toothless, beaming smiles. I can’t help but love that cheeky grin. I want to fix him when he is crying. And whilst he is sleeping, I lose hours watching his little chest puff up and down, and hearing his little snores float into the ether. I can only imagine how much longer it would have taken to build that bond if I had been at work every day.

Little Lewis Loves, Shared Parental Leave, Harry, Dad, Son, Kiss

3. Mums need looking after too

One thing that has hugely surprised me since becoming a dad is how many people still consider raising a child to be “women’s work”. It’s clearly a generational hangover and I’m sure would fit wonderfully into a wider debate about everyday sexism. So many people have unsubtly asked Sarah if “Adam has changed his first nappy yet”. To their outright surprise, I’ve actually changed the majority of nappies and cooked most of the dinners so far. As Sarah had an emergency C-section, it was physically necessary.

But even if she felt as right as rain, it still wouldn’t have occurred to me that she should be doing everything herself. After all, it takes two to tango and it seems like the least I can do. She carried our child for nine months and feeds him every couple of hours. I have little to offer in that department but with everything else, these eight weeks have given us a chance to get settled, relaxed and into a routine without too much exhaustion.

Little Lewis Loves, Shared Parental Leave, Harry, Dad, Son, Mum, Westonbirt

4. It’s not just men who bring home the bacon

Again, generationally there seems to be an assumption that I must earn significantly more than Sarah due to her gender. It therefore makes sense for her to give up work for a year. In reality, our salaries are similar enough that the difference is almost non-existent, albeit that in bacon terms I could buy a bloody good sandwich with the extra.

For other couples, it is entirely conceivable that the mother earns more. Shared parental leave might therefore be the financially better option. Even if the mother doesn’t earn more at the moment, her career aspirations and prospects might make an earlier return more attractive. Some employers are even more generous; I’m lucky enough to get full pay rather than just the statutory maternity pay. I also have colleagues who separately took 6 months each; they shared the benefits whilst minimising the impact on their careers. It’s flexible, so make it work for you!

5. A mini career break is good for you

Before I start this one, let me just say that looking after a new child is definitely hard work and easily equivalent to a 9-5 job. Parental leave is therefore most definitely not a holiday…and yet it sort of is. Your mind and body will come under all sorts of new stresses and strains but you’ll very quickly forget the office even exists.

Even if you only take a month, you’ll return to the office refreshed and refocused. Your colleagues will cope without you and if you’re really lucky, fresh eyes might bring some much needed perspective. The main thing is that you can adjust to life with a baby without the pressure of a full time job too. Nobody needs two full time jobs and no sleep!

Little Lewis Loves, Harry

You also don’t need to take all your shared paternity leave at once or even decide upfront. Depending on how we are getting on, Sarah and I might decide that I should take another month later on to spend some more time with the little man. It really can be that flexible as long as you are upfront and honest with your employer.

I’d love to hear from anyone else who’s taken shared parental leave or is considering it. Comment below and I’ll do my best to answer any of your questions.

November 13, 2018 0 comment